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Mom to Mom Monday: Sharing, the good, bad and ugly truth.

Posted by Julie on 6/3/2013 to Mom Madness
Sheesh! Good thing no one ever said parenting was easy, because it sure isn't. One thing I thought would be fairly simple and easy to teach my kids was how to share and what it meant to share with others.

sharing,twins The aspect I didn't bank on was the fact that my little ones would figure how to use sharing to their advantage, in order to not have to share....confusing I know, but they pretty nicely came up with their own sort of reverse sharing psychology.

How does their "reverse sharing" scheme work?

Well from a young age when your little ones are seeming greedy with their toys or grabby when a friend is playing with something that belongs to them or that they want to use, you gently remind them that it's nice to share. When someone else, either a sibling or friend asks to use something they have, again we encourage them to share.

The reverse effect this had on my kids is that they realized that if they ask someone to share then it was an automatic way to get what they want because the other child MUST share. So, as long as you keep yourself on the "asking end" of the equation you should always get what you want.

Well as a mother I started to really dislike this whole sharing thing. If one is playing nicely and someone suddenly wants them to share should they have to just give up what they're playing with or their turn immediately?

It was then that I had to become the sharing moderator. Now you have to examine, is the child asking for their turn or toy because they genuinely need it or want it? Or are they just asking because they want to put an end to the fun someone else is having?

Ultimately yes, I love sharing, when it happens spontaneously and under the right circumstances, but often I have seen forced sharing that I often didn't agree with.

In our house, perhaps because I have identical twin sons and a daughter who is just 3 & 1/2 years old then they are, sharing took on new meanings and ended up being a much more complicated to teach than I'd first expected. As they've gotten older, they've started to really get the hang of what it means to share and there's a lot less scheming than when they were younger.

So how about you? How do your little ones handle sharing and did you ever encounter the "reverse sharing" that I refer to above?