As I have been walking down this journey of parenthood, I have been given the opportunity to experience some very powerful emotions. I think that the most surprising one is that of addiction. I mean, they're just diapers.....right?! I know that this is a common feeling, though, as I am meeting and talking to other cloth diapering parents. I think that it is an interesting anomaly.
The trepidation that I felt as we were making the decision to cloth diaper was really intense. I was in awe that I would feel so strongly about trying something new. Maybe it was because of the cost that went into it upfront; with the knowledge that it would pay off in a few months with the money we would save from not buying disposables. Maybe it was the idea of being ousted because we were going against convention. Maybe it was the fear of spending so much on something that might not work. When those beautiful diapers came, I was overcome with excitement. They were cute and soft. I couldn't wait to be able to use them. I had to wait two months though because our son was not yet born.
I remember when we started using them we were surprised by how easy they were to use. The surreal feeling of addiction was starting to plant its seed. Then I found out that you have to wash them a certain way....the hard way. We then found ourselves frustrated and crushed that we were having such a hard time. It was difficult to deal with the fact that so many things started to go wrong and we didn't know why. Then we had to deal with the anger of spending so much money to have to spend more to fix the problem. As I was doing research on what to do, I was finding more people who had gone through the same thing. I was given wonderful advice from many sources. The anxiety was starting to be replaced by a warm sense of community. My stubbornness also set in. We were determined to make this work.
Now, the only way to describe these feelings is that of addiction. I find myself spending my free time searching the internet for cloth diapers and cloth diaper accessories. I fantasize about buying different kinds. I can't go a day without talking about it to anyone who will listen; even when I know that they are not that interested in the subject. I even dream about it at night. I never thought that something as mundane as diapers could become such an obsession.
Do you consider yourself obsessed with or addicted to cloth diapers?