Sometimes parenting choices you make impact your family life and mental health in ways you you don't anticipate.
For my husband and I, one of the decisions we've made from the start is that we just weren't comfortable with very many people watching our kids. We trust my mom, she's overprotective, over cautious and our kids are her only grandchildren.
It has gotten easier as they've gotten older, and months may go by without us ever getting a or wanting a break other than when they're at school. They play, interact and entertain themselves a lot which is nice, but I still long for days and nights with my husband where we can just be spontaneous, conversational, relaxed..and not just when it's 10pm and everyone is finally asleep.
There were times when my twins were little and I felt like life was on auto-pilot. I was okay as long as no one asked me if I was okay. If anyone dared ask "Julie, how are you doing? You hanging in there?" then I'd break down in tears.
When you have more than one kid, especially more than one baby at a time or multiple little ones under age 3, asking someone to watch your kids for you is not that easy. If I am overwhelmed watching my own kids, how would it be for someone else who doesn't have kids or has their own kids too, to be watching mine?
The trouble with Nana's
I love my mom dearly, but I'm an only child which means she tells me everything, including just how exhausted she is after having the kids for the night or day. She loves them to death but chasing three little ones takes work. Now that the kids are older, the boys are six and my daughter is nine, they take work in a different way. They want to be taken places, they want to be active and they want to be entertained.
While I was sure that as the kids got older my mom would offer to watch them more, this hasn't been the case. I feel bad asking because I already know she's overwhelmed with XYZ. She now offers less than when they were little, I guess she thinks we don't need a babysitter as much.
I don't intend for this to be a whine session, just me thinking out loud via the keyboard about how long it's been since my husband and I went to dinner, slept in together and enjoyed each others company without having to have an eye or ear pointed in the direction of our kids.
Do you have options when it comes to leaving your kids with other people? When is the last time you go to do something, besides grocery shopping, with your partner?