Before kids it's not uncommon to come up with all sorts of grandiose ideas of what kind of a parent you'll be, the things you will or will not allow your kids to do, eat, say, etc.
This is MY list of 25 things I never thought I'd do before I became a mom. What are some of yours?
25 Things I never thought I’d do before I became a mom:
1) Chart another person’s bowel movements.
2) Snuggle a baby or child who I knew would be vomiting on me soon, but hold them
3) Scrub poop from the bars of the crib…the carpet…the grout between the tile…the
4) Sneak cookies and chocolates when my babies aren’t looking.
5) Eat food covered in snot and/or drool because it was lovingly offered by my dear
6) Pick someone else’s nose.
7) Spray and/or dunk a cloth diaper in toilet water.
8) Consider falling asleep on my husband’s lap while watching a movie a hot date.
9) Take extra time on the toilet (with a book) because it’s the only time I’ve been
alone all day.
10) Wake up 2 hours early so I can be alone even more.
11) Allow a little person to sit in the bathroom with me because he or she can’t bear to
be out of my sight.
12) Have said little person kick me out of the bathroom because she needs her
13) Be a working mom.
14) Attach plastic cones to my breasts and use a machine to suck out milk.
15) Breastfeed for more than 1 year. Breastfeed for more than 2 years.
16) Survive on less than four hours of sleep a night. Regularly.
17) Enjoy a trip to the grocery store alone as much as I would have enjoyed an
afternoon at the beach back before the kids.
18) Check to make sure my kids are breathing a couple times an hour during naps
and multiple times through the night.
19) Allow a baby or child to sleep in the bed with my husband and I.
20) Skip showers for multiple days in a row because I wasn’t going anywhere and
things are so busy with kids that I just couldn’t carve out the time.
21) Wear sweats and Tshirts every moment that I’m not working—even when leaving
22) Read Goodnight Moon five times or more in the span of ten minutes.
23) Be so excited to talk to someone who doesn’t have words yet.
24) Change a diaper at 2am…and then at 4am…
25) Have my entire world wrapped up in the two, tiny people who lived inside of me for
9 months and will forever continue to grow in my heart.
So, what are some things you thought you'd never do before becoming a mother?
nikki Date 3/31/2014
I never thought I would ever sniff another persons butt to see if they had pooped.
Rachel A. Date 3/31/2014
I vowed I would never lick the tip of my finger and wipe dirt off another person's face. Oh, the shame.
Keara B. Date 4/2/2014
Being ridiculously excited when my daughter pooped in a toilet for the first time... something I never though I'd do. :)
Jessica Date 4/2/2014
I never realized I'd start crying looking at my sweet girl sleeping. Also, I never planned on wiping her nose with my shirt- buuuut, it's happened!
Ashley W. Date 4/4/2014
I never thought I would be willing to handle poopy cloth diapers, but I started CD-ing my now 2 year old at age 1 and am planning to CD right from the start with Baby #2 due in August :-) And I never thought I'd be having pajama parties all day for a couple days in a row either!
Suzanne Williams Date 4/4/2014
I never thought I would be able to just let things be out of my control, because with 3 little ones running around and another on the way you have to learn to just go with the flow.
Linda Kackert Date 4/4/2014
I never thought I would make a diaper out of my favorite shirt, but when your on a tight budget and your stash is still drying you do what you must!
Jennifer Date 4/4/2014
I never thought I'd "baby talk" to my LO, but she loves when I copy her sounds :)
Audrey Mullen Date 4/4/2014
DH and I both say that one thing we never thought we would care so much about is another person's BMs. I have never been so stressed out in my life as to when my LO cant poop! haha! Oh the joys of being a mommy!
Julie Date 4/4/2014
Yes to almost every one of those except the little one sleeping in my bed. My mom was a working mom and she coslept with my sister and me. On the nights she had to work, we'd sleep with our grandma and then my aunt. It was completely natural for me to cosleep with my babies. :)
Nicole Tyler Date 4/5/2014
I didn't think I'd ever get so excited pretty much every time LO goes on the potty. I still do, but LO is still a baby
Kim H Date 4/9/2014
I also never thought I would co-sleep! Then I realized that there are times when that is the only way I will get sleep, so that one changed pretty quick!
Allie Hewitt Date 4/11/2014
I've been a professional nanny for a total of almost ten years now, so over half of these just made me smile because I've already done them, just not as a mom. There's probably not much that could phase me about motherhood at this point. But now I'm pregnant with my first baby, so I'll be experiencing the overnights and breastfeeding for the first time. I'm curious to see how my list after becoming a mom differs from my nanny list of things I never thought I'd do. :)
Ashley Date 4/11/2014
I never thought I would be convinced that breastfeeding is something you do for more than 6 months to a year.
Devin Willmarth Date 4/11/2014
I laughed out loud on several occasions reading this list because I can totally relate! My DS is almost 6 and I still get up to check if he's breathing. I also haven't been able to go to the bathroom by myself for 6 years either. I am currently pregnant with my second DS and I am looking forward to having two boys follow me to the bathroom and getting even less sleep!
Rachel N Date 4/16/2014
So true! I never knew I would one day keep track of 4 different people's toileting habits!
Kelly S Date 4/18/2014
I found this to be funny & oh so true! My kids are grown now & now my son has just made me a grandma a week ago. I never thought I would be so excited to hear a baby cry again!
Lara Clinton Date 4/25/2014
These are hilarious. I am excited about doing all these things soon even if they are sometimes oh so grody.
Leela Rao Date 4/27/2014
Co-sleep is the one thing I was really against, but we do let DS into our bed sew if it's past 5 am just because he won't sleep anymore otherwise
Sara Walden Date 5/19/2014
Shampoo my carpet because my son likes to pee in the corners..