Confessions of a Former Control Freak

Posted by Stacey on 11/18/2012 to Mom Madness

I am a recovering control freak. Over the last few years, I have slowly stopped letting my need to be in charge wreak havoc on my life. Something about having a premature baby, losing my job and having our house hit by a tornado made it crystal clear that I was NOT in control. My ability to let things go has improved with every unexpected event, and I've learned more about my husband in the last year than our first 9 years of marriage.

In my defense, it's really hard to be a mom and not be a control freak because having kids is the mother of all responsibilities. I researched, decided, managed, organized, planned and implemented every aspect of our lives because, that way, I was comfortable and confident that everything was being done right and that I was being a good mom. The problem was that I was exhausted and when someone offered to help, I didn't know where to begin. I was over-committing to school functions, trying to build a business, sitting on a few committees for random non-profits, organizing play dates, managing the household and raising 2 boys (now we have a 7 week old baby girl too).

When rock bottom came...and it did, I made a list of everything I was handling and it was 3 pages long. I started, reluctantly, giving things up and the first thing that went to my husband was the kids school stuff. He was actually excited about this but since he works full time, it requires some running on my part. Overall, he handles everything for the boys that relates to school and does so better than I ever did. He gets supplies, he helps with homework, communicates with teachers, packs lunches, signs permission slips, irons uniforms and most important: he makes the cupcakes.

I love baking, for really bad reasons. I love raw batter and ugly cupcakes that I am forced to eat. Trust me when I say that there are plenty of ugly cupcakes when I bake! This is what my normal holiday party cupcake looks like. It's not that I'm not creative; its just that I am more expressive with the written word, rather than icing and sprinkles:

This is one of the cupcakes that my husband made for my 7 year-old's school Thanksgiving party:

All I can say is that letting go of having to be in charge has never tasted, or looked, so good. He even made an ugly one for me to eat! Does your spouse have a hidden talent or skill that it took years for you to discover?

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